Thursday Thoughts…

I’m feeling a bit lately like I want to say something big, or profound, or write the sort of piece that really resonates with people. But the words just really aren’t there.
Things are good with us at the moment. Busy, but good.
And between writing for other people, afternoons spent in the car ferrying the littles around, and y’know, all the other mum stuff, I find that there’s not much room left in my little head for wise words.
I was always reluctant to label this little space as a ‘parenting blog’, although I suppose it kind of is that really. I think I’m always panicky that reading that term, people will expect it to be a guide on how to bring up children, a bit like Supernanny online, or something like that.
But I am no expert on parenting. I’m definitely not. What you’ll see here are two parents who love their children in the way most others do – fiercely, unequivocally, and just wanting the very best for them. We are just muddling through really, hoping for wisdom when we need it, and trading time to ourselves for Phonics practice and Ballet shows and Minecraft discussions (which apparently I ‘still just don’t get Mama!‘) Just trying to mess it all up as little as possible.
I think we all find our own way, don’t we? Eventually?

Mind you, every time I think we maybe, sort of, have it sussed, there’ll be a curve ball. It doesn’t do to be too complacent with kids.
Well – that’s my excuse for living a good 98% of the time on the edge of panic, and I’m sticking to it. 🙂
And then there’s the guilt.
There should really be a separate chapter on this in all the baby manuals, because I reckon when they hand you that squishy, soft little newborn loveliness, you also automatically get a big dollop of the G word.
Guilt that you aren’t breast feeding, guilt that you are but they JUST WON’T SLEEP, guilt that you are still in your pyjamas at 12pm, guilt that you left the nappy that little bit too long before changing, guilt that you don’t spend enough time with your other half, guilt when you do, guilt that the kids watch too much TV/IPad/Kindle, guilt that the hoovering isn’t done and the bath has a swamp-like ring around it. And it goes on and on.
My three will now say things like ‘But Mummy, you never play with us!’ which – let’s face it –  is like a dagger to the heart of a guilty mother. It makes me want to weep. And so I try to schedule it in between Biff, Chip and Kipper, the Irish Dancing pick-up, and making the tea. And then I’ll forget to find the library books in our jumble of a playroom, and school will send home another reminder. Or we’ll find ourselves cobbling together something ‘cook from frozen’ for dinner, because I’ve forgotten to defrost the burgers.  I’m telling you now lovely friends – in my experience something will ALWAYS fall by the wayside.
I’m pretty sure none of us can master it all. I’d love some tips if you’re one that can!

So yes, nothing profound here. Extracting one cohesive thought is challenge enough, as I think is evidenced perfectly in this big rambley ramble. 🙂
Sorry about that.
Oh, but here are some pictures from a few weeks ago, when we went for a walk up at Belfast Castle. I totally forgot to share them at the time.
And looking at them again makes me realise – just for a second – when I see happy faces and healthy, thriving little bodies,
That perhaps I’m a bit silly to be sweating the small stuff.
And that maybe, in the vast, complicated scheme of things,
We’re not doing such a bad job after all.

11 Comments

  1. March 12, 2015 / 11:24 am

    I think without thinking you were, you wrote something pretty special.

    I don’t really like most people’s children, I am not an earth mother type that kids flock to. But your three completely stole my heart when I met them and I left feeling honestly that I wish Andy and I could bring up H just a smidge of the way you two have raised those three beauties. They are beautiful, beautifully behaved and a delight. Xxx

  2. March 12, 2015 / 12:05 pm

    Lovely thoughts Emma! Thanks for this!

  3. March 12, 2015 / 12:31 pm

    As mum to two older children I often sit back and think wow, how have we reared these two young adults. They’re polite and kind, funny and profound and sometimes very cheeky and trying. We’ve had our ups and downs and often I’ve felt that I could have handled a situation better. But I think everything we do, our children learn from us. They need to see that mum and dad sometimes make mistakes too. And that’s ok, it’s how we deal with them that’s important. If they’ve been brought up in a beautiful bubble where mum is there ‘on tap’ to play when required, homework is never forgotten and there’s delicious home cooked food every day, can you imagine the shock when they eventually fly the nest and enter the real world.

    This is a lovely post that I’m sure many will take reassurance from Emma and, (as the tv ad says), we’re doing ok.

  4. March 12, 2015 / 4:00 pm

    Ah that is just a beautiful piece of prose all by itself. I love hearing about the little wood antics. And the “you don’t play with us mummy” guilt I get. Wish they would just be grateful with their warm bed and hot food ;). They know how to do it don’t they. Having three is exhausting with all their different little needs but you seem to have it very sussed xx

  5. March 12, 2015 / 4:04 pm

    I feel sorry for myself all the time because this hasn’t gone the way I thought it would or that didn’t turn out as planned, and then I look through my 100s on photos of my phone of me & Gwenn here and there, selfies, baking, park, the seaside, etc etc and I think “This is what you wanted, this is what you have, so you should be over the moon” and then I am! Usually this wears off (I’m only human!) but generally speaking, even though things always seem to be just on the edge of going to pot, we get along just fine and everyone’s healthy and happy. So that’s good enough for me. xx

  6. March 12, 2015 / 4:05 pm

    Aww Emma, I think you and Mr M do a pretty fab job with your little ones….they are breathing and wearing clothes in public so that’s a huge tick in the box; anything else is a huge bonus 😜
    Last year I emailed you privately to say how much I liked your blog (didn’t have this google account malarkey cracked then) and shared a bit of family blurb with you and I remember you said something very profound to me about children and the education system and how not all children are suited to standard classroom learning. It made me change my opinion on something and I now have a much happier little lady.
    So don’t underestimate the power your your writing and your blog lady 😘 xx

  7. March 12, 2015 / 4:21 pm

    Oh the G-word, don’t even get my started! None of us are experts Emma, as you say: we’re all just trying our hardest. But seriously, that guilt really does muck things up every now and again doesn’t it? I feel the same about the title ‘parenting blog’ I prefer ‘family lifestyle’ but then again – our lifestyle isn’t up to much really ha ha! Your pictures are gorgeous. x x

  8. March 12, 2015 / 11:07 pm

    I loved this post Em- rambles are the best sometimes. I love your little space, whatever you call it and whatever you write. And don’t get me started on guilt. I go to bed every single night feeling guilty for something. xx

  9. March 13, 2015 / 12:04 am

    This is exactly the “deep and profound” that you didn’t think you could write… Because its genuine, heartfelt and real. This is pretty much how every mother on the planet feels I think. Thank you for writing it!xx

  10. March 13, 2015 / 11:33 pm

    Such a lovely piece brown-haired Emma! I relate so much to this. The library books that disappear – and getting grief from school for the ONE THING you forgot, never mind that you got three of them there, dressed, two breakfasts each, PE kit packed, reading books done, spelling learnt…I don’t need to tell you! I had a very similar moment looking through my phone today, too. We just finally uploaded the memory card (after over a year!!) and looking back on all the lovely things we have done with the children made me feel a lot better. Safe flight poppet! xxx

  11. March 19, 2015 / 10:32 pm

    Beautiful pictures, Em! I don’t think you’re alone in how you feel. I’m a positive person but still get to the end of the day and count up the things that I didn’t do before thinking about all the things that I did. I don’t think we’re made to pat ourselves on the back but we really should. Getting through the day with all children dressed, fed and then to bed with a kiss, is a huge achievement 🙂

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