Marriage is …

So, it occurred to me that, in the written world of LATLW anyway, Mr M gets a bit overlooked. Sure, he gets a mention here and there, but between the children and my own ramblings, he is often passed over.
To rectify this, and because he is one very equal fifth of our whole, I thought I would start this little series on marriage. It isn’t a how to, or a guide in how to do it right – my goodness we can have fights like the best of them – it’s more an appreciation, I guess, of all the tiny things that make us ‘us’. Putting some importance on the insignificant. The routines and the oddities that have become normalities for us over the years.

For I’m certain that this man I chose, that chose me, is as perfect a match as I’ll ever find. And that’s worth celebrating, isn’t it?

Marriage is… Making the tea

Before the Mr was a Mr, way back in our school days, he and I met at our Church Youth Club. When I think about it now, I do cringe a bit, for when we met we weren’t much older than my own eldest daughter is now. As ever, I fear that the teenage years with our own children might be our biggest challenge yet.
We were pretty inseparable through our school days and on into the Uni years. Other friends met people, had dalliances, broke up, but we were always the constant. Our names merged together in conversation, almost as if we were one person.
Like Brangelina. Just in Fruit of the Loom sweatshirts and with bad nineties haircuts.

Being together for such a long time means that certain little rituals have made their way into our ordinary. He calls me Emmie, but only in private, in the real world I’m Emma or Em. I know he gets cross when he gets too hot- we call it the ‘hanger’ (heat induced anger, lovelies)- and we play Russian Roulette with the heating controls frequently.
And then there’s the tea.
From the moment we were old enough to appreciate the Tetley, we have had the hour of tea. Truly. It’s like folklore amongst our friends.
Every evening before bed, no matter how late it is, we have to sit down together and drink the tea. Honestly, I’m certain more marriages would be saved if tea-drinking was made compulsory.

It’s a time to chat and catch up on our day. To have a moan. To despair. To plan, and reminisce, and settle each other when the waves of panic rise up, about this or that (me, more than him).

It is sacred, special alone time. Quiet moments in the midst of our everyday crazy.
Without them, I’m sure I’d go insane.
But then I think that has an awful lot more to do with the person beside me on the sofa. The one who calls me Emmie.
The one, no matter what the hour, who brings me tea.

E x

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15 Comments

  1. May 20, 2014 / 8:53 am

    Every hour of the day is tea hour for my hubby, I’m actually sick of the phrase put the kettle on. I love the idea, its very sweet that you sit down and have a little natter over a cuppa x

  2. May 20, 2014 / 1:45 pm

    I loved this post for so many reasons…1. My husband says he barely feels like he ‘belongs’ on my blog ;P We got together when we were teenagers, yeah, fruit of the lool (him) and bad nineties haircut (me) oh dear!!!! 😀 And then there’s the tea, undoubtedly, he’s the maker…the better one really. We have our tea minutes in the morning and the tea hour late at night.. I always tell him that I would be weeping into my tea if and when life does separate us 🙂 As you can see, I’ve turned to mush 🙂 Great post, so pleased I clicked on the link to read this. x

  3. May 20, 2014 / 2:35 pm

    Emma what hope is there for me??!?! I hate tea :((
    Its terribly anti-social, people don’t know what to do with me when i go round to their houses and they can’t make me a cuppa. Gin is frowned upon before 7pm i find.
    So sweet you and Mr.M have been together so long xxx

  4. May 20, 2014 / 3:29 pm

    It’s funny – I introduced the hubster to the wonderful world of tea! Before we got together he wasn’t much of a drinker (no pun intended 😉 ) but he soon learnt to be after my mum’s numerous requests to “sit down and have a cuppa!” Now, he is the one who initiates the ‘tea moments’. My favourite 1 being the 1 we have on our own at supper! You and Mr. M = Leg. Youth Club in my head!!!!

  5. May 20, 2014 / 4:03 pm

    Aww Emma this is beautiful and a lovely ritual that obviously means so much in your marriage! Sounds like you have a fab and wonderfully solid relationship with your lovely hubby. Lovely series, look forward to reading more #allaboutyou xxx

  6. May 20, 2014 / 5:10 pm

    What a wonderful way to end the day! Just taking the time to talk and relive the day without interruption sounds like such a treat. It’s great that you have such a tradition. #allaboutyou

  7. May 20, 2014 / 6:46 pm

    I love hearing about the rituals couples have and a simple cup of tea should never be underestimated. You sound like you have a very loving and solid relationship (and that includes all the arguments :o) ). I am looking forward to more of this series. :o)

  8. May 20, 2014 / 7:56 pm

    I love the idea of a cuppa and sit down just before bed. You are so right, every couple should have their alone time to chat about their day at some point during it. Communication is everything! #allaboutyou

  9. May 20, 2014 / 9:46 pm

    I loved reading this Em. It sounds like you have such a great relationship and I’m always a bit dubious of couples who don’t argue! So lovely to make time for each other at the end of each day. We always sit down at the table and eat our evening meal together to give us a time to catch up on each other’s day, although we’re normally sharing a bottle of wine rather than a lot of tea 😉 xx

  10. May 21, 2014 / 11:52 am

    Goose bumps. All over. What a perfect little love story you have going on there. Just beautiful 🙂 I absolutely agree with you about getting together at the end of the day to breathe, unwind and dissect the day….ours is usually over a glass of wine ;). Lovely post as always Emma. I’ve got so many of your posts that I want to include in Friday Favourites, you just ooze loveliness! PS I always wanted to call my daughter ‘Emmie’ for short (she’s Emilia) but it never really clicked. Perhaps her husband will one day!

  11. May 21, 2014 / 9:24 pm

    Ahhh Emma you couldn’t have wrote it more beautifully. What a great tribute to you and your husband and the amazing love, bond, and relationship you both have. I love your series and I won’t miss it again I promise. So motivating to make that extra special moments together. I agree maybe everyone should have tea time together. Speaking of I adore your teapot and cup in the photo. Must have….please share! lol Such a lovely lovely thing to have found your true love and soul mate so young and grow up together. No one knows you both better. (emmie I love it) wink wink.

  12. May 21, 2014 / 9:33 pm

    Such a lovely post, Emma. You’ve made me want a tea hour, too, but my husband hates tea – we are doomed!

  13. May 26, 2014 / 12:05 am

    So much love just falling off the page! Beautiful. Thanks for linking to #AllAboutYou

    Mama-andmore.com

  14. May 26, 2014 / 7:51 pm

    I can reassure mr M, that during your britmums night away, i shall happily provide ‘in lieu’ of aforementioned tea. Xx a beautiful post Em (or should that be emmie?) xx

  15. May 26, 2014 / 10:20 pm

    A beautiful post! I love that you’ve both found a way to carve that bonding time out of each day, it’s a huge accomplishment. #AllAboutYou

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