Just what the doctor ordered…

Is it still January? Seriously? I really do think that there’s a case for human hibernation through the Winter months. Hedgehogs have it right.

So what do we do? Stay in and cosy up with the fire and a good film? It’s definitely the tempting option. But sometimes making the effort to drag yourself out is actually the best cure-all for bodies worryingly deprived of mood boosting Vitamin D.

And so I planned a night out.
Sod the detox, sometimes all that will get you through is a big plate of carbs, bucket of wine and some like minded friends to share it with.

The ladies in question are friends that I have met and made through the school our kids go to. And I really struck it lucky.

I’m sure those of you with school age children will maybe have experienced, at some point or another, a bit of awkward school gate chat and the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy at times, when you see the mums in their immaculate gym gear on their way to Pilates. Maybe you are that mum – I wish I was you. I’m mostly heading home for a coffee and to clean the bathroom.
I’m starting to hit my stride with it now though, and feel a little less like I’m at school myself, wanting to make friends with the ‘cool kids’. Do we ever grow out of this?

I’ve never been someone who is overly confident, or witty, or the sort of charismatic personality that people flock to. I’m more of a slow burner, I take a bit of getting to know.
My very oldest friends have been on the scene for 20 years or more. They know me inside out and whether we see each other every day, or not for months, nothing ever changes. One is a doctor, one a big squeeze in the legal world, a teacher, a civil servant, an accountant in training. Together we are 15 again, chatting about boys and our insecurities, albeit over Sauvignon Blanc rather than hot chocolate. I love them dearly.
Two others are such kindred spirits that literally nothing is unspoken. They support and encourage unconditionally and I am so grateful to have them.
My other closest friends have been gathered through work, and things I’ve been involved in, and shared interests (and shared moaning!) have cemented our bond.
Life’s little troubles are all the easier for facing them with these girls.

And I guess that is the case with this little mummy brigade too. We all feel the passing of the years and stages too harshly. We share the same concerns about homework and reading ages and how uncoordinated our children are at sport. We are a sisterhood of sorts I suppose. And I love them dearly for that too.

And I’m starting to really look forward to those school gate chats, and feel less self conscious about my failings.

Wine, carbs and a good old laugh, whether shared with old friends or new friends, is most definitely the best medicine.

E x



18 Comments

  1. April 9, 2014 / 9:02 am

    You are so right. I love getting together with my friends, old and new, and it does feel like a kind of medicine if I’ve had a bad day. A good chat with friends fixes all! Lovely post x

  2. April 9, 2014 / 10:14 am

    Emma I love this post. I think I will feel exactly this when my kids start school. All the neighborhood mommies know each other from having had older kids then me and walking to school next door all together for two years by time I get there for their round two. I will be the odd one out. I don’t think we ever grow out of trying to fit in. lol I am so glad you have your mommy group of friends and had a great time together. Sounds wonderful. Thank you for your continual blog and linky support. Biggest biggest hugs to you. *I too wish I was off to pilates, but I will be like you back home to clean, and have MM with me too for another two years. Buba starts next September I am so nervous!!! Eeek. #sharewithme

    • April 9, 2014 / 10:48 pm

      Jenny pet, stock up on the tissues now. There WILL be tears (you, not him!) xx

  3. April 9, 2014 / 11:18 am

    You’re right, a good chat with a friend is just the best. And I’m not fussy if it’s over a cup of tea or a glass of wine 🙂

    • April 9, 2014 / 10:49 pm

      Ooh tea and biccies! Yes, just as good!xx

  4. April 9, 2014 / 12:29 pm

    Great post, I can relate to this so much, my son started nursery in September and I was looking forward to chatting with the other mums at the school gate while I waited for him to finish, unfortunately that never happens, all the other mums seem to already know each other and they’re definitely not interested in making friends with anyone else. My smiles are never returned and I stand there in silence every day, it’s so not what I thought it would be 🙁 xx #sharewithme

    • April 9, 2014 / 10:47 pm

      Aww Emma,! Big squeezy hugs! I felt very like this at first, but I’ve just found a lovely little group thankfully, and I think by the time my third hit nursery I’ve become like part of the furniture! It’s their loss poppet – some girls never grow out of that secondary school behaviour. I’d love to chat to you 🙂 xx

  5. April 9, 2014 / 1:34 pm

    “Wine, carbs and a good old laugh” YES I couldn’t agree more. Love this post xxx

    • April 9, 2014 / 10:50 pm

      That is my excuse. Every. Single. Day. 🙂 xx

  6. April 9, 2014 / 2:21 pm

    Aww lovely post, a good night with friends, food and drink is just what you need sometimes! Glad you have so many lovely friends and that you all support each other so much xx #sharewithme

    • April 9, 2014 / 10:53 pm

      Thanks so much Caroline! Yes, I’m very lucky to have both old and new friends to rely on. Very lucky indeed!xx

  7. April 9, 2014 / 2:50 pm

    Great post, I’m not at the school gates stage yet but I’m dreading it already. There is quite a mummy clique round where I live and I’m not sure I’m brave enough to break it. Luckily one of my oldest school friends is kind of in the clique and keeps encouraging me along to mummy groups, but there’s only so much being looked up and down and then ignored that a girl can take! x

  8. April 9, 2014 / 4:17 pm

    Indeed it is. There is something so uncomfortable about the school gate that if you manage to find a good group of like-minded friends it is definitely worth treasuring. My group has recently broken up, now that our eldest two have gone to secondary school. I am now regularly the one standing there like billy no mates!

  9. April 9, 2014 / 8:04 pm

    Lovely post! I’ve found being pregnant has actually lost me my best friend, sadly… She’s no children herself and here I am cooking number 2, bound to happen I guess. It has made other mums stop and say hello at Carson’s school though so here’s to mummy groups (and wine… and carbs!!) x
    I’ve popped on over from #sharewithme and would love you to come say hi at carsonsmummy.blogspot.co.uk too 🙂 xx

  10. April 9, 2014 / 10:27 pm

    My eldest starts school this September and I’m intrigued to know what the demographic is going to be like at the school gates. I live in one of those areas where there is quite a big class divide (described by the local library as ‘an area of deprivation’ but at the same time filling up with people like us who grew up middle class in nicer neighbourhoods but went into public sector jobs and wouldn’t be able to afford living in the posher places). Anyway I’m also quite paranoid about not fitting in or finding like minded souls. New friendships will be a bonus though if that happens! #Sharewithme

  11. April 10, 2014 / 11:19 am

    I went out for dinner with my besties last week and it was everything you describe! Towers of strength, shoulders to cry on and lots of loeg crossed laughing what with the old pelvic floor business! Reading your blog I think we’d be friends if we met- don’t want to sound too stalkery though!!
    #sharewithme

  12. April 11, 2014 / 9:15 am

    This is so true and so needed to recharge yourself sometimes. We have a night out together…as a couple…CHILD FREE for the first time in fifteen months coming up. To say we cannot wait is an understatement. I bet you ladies had an ace time. Good for you x

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