I ended up having a bit of a prolonged break from blogging in April and, although it wasn’t planned or intentional, I think it was good to take a step back for a bit. If I’m honest, I’m not sure where I stand with it all going forward, and I’ve spent a bit of time reflecting on that this month.
I feel a little like we’re moving into a new phase digitally, and that the quest for instancy online is negating the benefits of writing and imagery a little. It’s sad for those, like me, who started this whole journey for the words and the photography. The consumer market now seems massively driven by video and, whilst I’m as big a fan as the next person, I’ve never really felt that’s where my talents lie. I guess it’s like anything in life, isn’t it? Moving with the times always requires a little bit of letting go. The habitual creature in me hates that part! 😉
On the positive side (always clinging to the positives!) I’ve been working much more at things away from the laptop this month, and enjoying the process so much. I have been doing some styling and photography work for a few clients, and trying to build up my portfolio in that area. It’s a new avenue for me, but one that I’ve loved developing. I’ve mentioned it before, but it’s good to just do something for someone else for a bit. Don’t get me wrong, I love writing and sharing on here and social media a lot but I’m conscious of it all being a bit vacuous and self indulgent from time to time. Does that make sense? Instagram in particular, for all its virtues, is a tricky place to be at times, and can feel a lot like the schoolyard of twenty years ago (I was going to say ten but turns out I’m definitely older than that! Ha!) Fortunately, I’m largely surrounded by the very best of people on there, and in real life too. And I’m long in the tooth enough to realise that it’s not real life, nor is it what really matters.
Maybe it’s just part of getting older, but lately I’m always mindful of making everything I do feel worthwhile. I’m passionate about creating a life to be proud of, and that’s much more about the relationships I have with people, the things I do away from scrutiny, the private and the personal. I’m working hard at focusing on those things and really feeling the benefit of them.
We have pretty much finished off the office now. I’m just waiting on a rug to arrive and Andrew is going to make me a footstool soon, and then it will be complete! It feels like it has taken us forever (we recently celebrated five years in Little Wood, which seems so crazy. Surely we just moved in yesterday??) but I’m so pleased with it all! We’re hoping to tackle a few more jobs outside this Summer (it’s never ending out there. Truly!) and then I’m keen to make a start on our little downstairs toilet in the Autumn time. Houses are like painting the Golden Gate bridge, huh? You are no sooner finished than they need starting all over again. I feel like the maintenance is constant. We are never fully on top of it over here, despite what it may look like!
Oh my goodness, the gang are getting so big! I feel like everything is just moving in hyperspeed lately and I’m frantically trying to hold on to each day with the tips of my fingers. I don’t know whether it’s just the pace of life in general, or this chapter of life we’re navigating, but slow down already! I mean, we’re almost half way through this new year. Crazy!
Motherhood gets easier in lots of ways as they grow, but equally challenging in so many more too. There are conversations we are having now that I thought were years off, and discussions and negotiations that I still don’t feel wise enough to steer us through. When they were littler, I always imagined that by the time the teenage years were upon us I’d have it all sussed too. I’m here to tell you that I still don’t guys, and I honestly think I never will. There’s no time to be complacent in this business of raising children up. It’s dodging bullets and getting your hands dirty on the regular. And whether they are three or thirty three, I think that total devotion, that service and that worry are always present. What a thing we signed up for. Our greatest and proudest achievements.
I hope you’ve been having the best month so far. Andrew and I booked a quick break to France early next month and I’m already counting down the days. I always feel really sad leaving the kids of course, but equally it’s important to have those times just us two I think. Anyway, I’m excited for sunshine and gelato (controversially it’s even better than the Italian stuff!) and a little taster before our bigger Summer travels. I have a feeling this Summer is going to be an extra special one!